Work in Progress

Ever pen bumper stickers in your mind?  No?  Okay, just me then!  Grrrrrreat!  There's the "Pick a Lane, Grandma!" one for when you're either (a) around some really annoying, unaware and thoughtless drivers or (b) around some equally annoying and indecisive people who simply cannot seem to make up their minds.  Lady in coffee shop waits in line 20 minutes and when they ask for her order, it's suddenly life or death; coffee vs. latte?  Foam?  Yes.  Wait, no.  Yeah, no foam.  I think?  Come on...pick a lane, Grandma! 

Then there's "Really?"  This one has a ton of uses---too many to list and not all of them car-related.  Boss cancels the 9:00 meeting at 8:58....really?  Glad you nearly knocked over a nun to get into the elevator to avoid being late for that.  Clueless shopper takes last grocery bag out of the cart, places it oh-so-carefully in the trunk (can't be rough with paper towels now, can we?) and then lets the cart there.  Right there, next to her car, banged up against the one next to it...really!?  Driver of a 1997 LeBaron insists on inching along at an infuriatingly slow pace,  thinking it's totally possible--no, probable!--that there's just gotta be a spot.  On the first level of the 10 story parking deck.  On a Monday.  At 8:42am.  Really?

I could go on, but (really?!) the bumper sticker I've mentally affixed to my car is "Work in Progress."  Yeah, that doesn't seem real cool on the ass end of a Toyota, I know.  It's certainly not as cool as a "26.2" sticker or a "Luv Ya Black 'n Gold" football.  But if you imagine yourself as the...wait.....scratch that.  If you think of the bumper sticker as an outlook, maybe that'll help.

We're all works in progress, right?  Or at least we should be.  Isn't that the point?  Always striving for more, better, smarter, stronger?  Sure.  But how does one balance that desire with the sense of appreciation for what is?  It's not easy, I can tell you that.  Kind of "Pick a Lane, Grandma!" tough.

One one hand, you want to be all "Look at what I've accomplished.  Yay me."  And on the other hand, you're all "Wait, there's MORE I can do, want to do, should do."  It's a damn fine line, I do believe.

I recently read an interview with Julianna Margulies (if you haven't caught her in The Good Wife, do.) in which she talks about learning to make difficult choices.  And how women who don't value themselves (you know the type---put themselves DEAD last always, make time for everyone else's stuff, not their own) often end up in failed relationships because of that.

She went on to illustrate a real-life example of that.  Rather than take her son to a birthday party one Saturday morning, she had her husband do it so she could go to the gym and get what she needed in that moment.  I loved her thought; "I chose to come first in that moment.  In the next moment, my family can come first."  She knew, she just knew, that she would be a better Mom for having satisfied her own needs.  That's strong.

I'm not saying that always works.  I know better.  I also know that I am better when I have the luxury of--and the brains for--making that choice. I wasn't always this way, and I'm still not great at it.  Hence, "Work in Progress." Do I feel guilty when I choose to sort pictures rather than clean--okay, wait.  Bad example.  Do I feel guilty when I choose to workout for 30 minutes rather than hop in the pool with Abby and Mark?  Yeah, I sure do.  But being present, right there in the moment 30 minutes "late" beats being only semi-there 30 minutes early in my book.  

I joke that I don't always lift weights; sometimes I sling my guilt around to get a workout.  It's true--I'm saddled with it daily.  And I know I'm not alone in that.  So I embrace it.  Mostly.  A little guilt means I care enough about what I'm not doing to wish I was doing it.  A little guilt makes me a better Mama when I am with my girl and a more dedicated student when I'm in my workout.  It makes me aware, thoughtful and determined.  Determined to do my best, because giving less than that after consciously making a choice of one thing over another seems pretty silly to me.  You too?

My fitness journey, my body, this blog even!  All of it.  It's all a "Work in Progress."  And I'm okay with that.  Progress, not perfection; that's the goal.  It's standing where I am, being happy with that.  Then looking behind me and giving a "Daaaaamn I've come far!" and looking ahead with a "Yep, I'm comin' for ya, future!"  It's being wise, learning from your past and using that wisdom to shape your future.  It's being satisfied, but not settled.

Embrace your past, live your now and work towards your future.  Work on it, fail at it, succeed at it and try again.  Each day, be a better you.  Can't go wrong with that, right?  Stick that on the back end of whatever you drive!