365

I was in a fairly steady groove there for a while, posting every Monday, back in a routine.  And then….well, I’m not exactly sure what happened.  But it’s been a month—a month!?  Yep!  I’ve been here before, that place where a post takes up lots of space in my heart and mind, not quite finding its way to the page (er, screen).  I mentally edit it, revising the thoughts as they take shape in between thoughts and the busyness of any given day.  Carefully selecting words as I walk up to the bus stop.  Reordering paragraphs while sitting in traffic.  Still, it remains stuck.  Changing but not moving forward. 

As has been the case previously, something comes along and jars it all loose and words start tumbling out in a less than orderly way. It’s a bit like dumping the pieces of a puzzle onto a table—you know what it’s going to look like in the end, so you set about flipping them all right side up, gathering the edge pieces and start assembling. 

Perhaps there’s something subconscious here. Maybe I’m avoiding this post because giving weight and power to the words makes them all the more real.  Whether written or not, it is an undeniable and forceful truth.  We are rapidly (arguably, of course) approaching the one year mark of the start of this pandemic.  There are a handful of dates one could use as Day #1, right?  Is it the day you first heard the words Corona Virus or COVID-19?  Is it the day the first case was discovered in the US? Is it the date the first case was discovered in your state?  

Day #1--and so Day #365—in my mind is Friday, March 13.  Oh the irony--most assuredly not lost.  Friday the 13^th—the day 2020 threw its head back, mouth agape and emitted a villainous laugh.  There’s really nothing funny about this at all.  One year later. One very long, tumultuous, frustrating, painful, sad, heavy year.  Silver linings?  Yes.  Humor?  No, not really.

A succession of three songs on my playlist jarred all the thoughts loose and organized them into something more than a random scatter of ideas. The first song, “Dear Younger Me” sent my thoughts to March of last year.  There’s a lyric in the song; “Even though I love this crazy life, Sometimes I wish it was a smoother ride.”  Who can’t relate to that sentiment?  In so many ways, life is really, really good.  Simultaneously, life is really, really challenging.  I know I don’t need to recount the multitude of ways that life has turned upside down for each and every one of us throughout the last 12 months.  Undoubtedly we each have our own version of “upside down” and some of us have seen multiple variations of “upside down” since this all started.  We grappled with contradictory messages, tangled emotions and an inexplicable combination of not enough to do and too much time.  Raise your hand if you wished for a smoother ride at some point since the pandemic began.  

 The second song, “Into the Sea (It’s Gonna Be Okay)” includes the following; “My heart is breaking, in a way I never thought it could. My mind is racing with the question, “Are you still good?”    I know she’s posing the question to God, but as I hear the lyric, I find myself asking if I’m still good.  Am I okay?  Have I redefined what it means to be okay, lowering the bar so that I meet the newly-defined threshold?  Okay used to mean so much more.  Now it seems like being okay is making it through a day without breaking down more than once.  Hollow victory, huh?  Are we allowed to be okay when so many are not?  What warped logic encourages us to keep quiet about being okay, knowing that there is often so little we can do to help others be okay.  There have been many moments in which I feel as if I’m trying to drain the ocean with a spoon.  That whatever I’m doing to add positivity or value or happiness is so minor and insignificant.  Yet we, I, plug along, figuring that it has to add up, right?  It has to. 

As if those two songs weren’t enough, a third song followed, offering yet more insight and clarity.  Lauren Daigle, “Rescue.” This one brought into focus my kiddos.  The lyrics—"You are not hidden/There's never been a moment/You were forgotten/You are not hopeless/Though you have been broken/Your innocence stolen/I hear you whisper underneath your breath/I hear your SOS, your SOS/I will send out an army to find you/In the middle of the darkest night/It's true, I will rescue you.” 

All the clichés—we’re all in this together.  This too shall pass.  It could be worse.  Be glad you have your health.  While I will not dismiss those powerful and true notions, I will also not deny the fear, loneliness and discouragement that seemed to always be nearby as I navigated the pandemic as a Mama.  There’s never been a moment they were forgotten.  But I bet they felt like it.  

I bet they felt forgotten as soccer seasons were truncated, as dance recitals went virtual and no one really got to see them in their costumes, performing routines they spent months and hours rehearsing.  I bet they didn’t feel like anyone was in this with them.  How could they?  We weren’t with people.  For the latter half of last school year, in-person classes stopped.  Dinners with friends—stopped.  Sleepovers—not happening.  Giggling with a friend in the backseat on the way to soccer practice—done.

Innocence stolen?  Yeah—I can’t even bring myself to fully tackle that idea.  I hear their SOS.  The begging for normal.  The despair over why things are the way they are.  The frustration over what they’re missing, and the determination to keep a stiff upper lip and address the current circumstances with a maturity beyond their years.  I watch my older daughter try to hold in tears and I want to, in the same breath, applaud her for not falling apart and also give her permission to crumble.  To let me rescue her.  Even if I’m not sure how.

As I listened to the words of these three songs, I convinced myself of two things.  The first—it’s no coincidence that these three songs played back to back to back.  Their messages piercing through my thoughts and helping them crystalize.  It kind of feels like the moment you read the fortune from your cookie and it seems eerily, perfectly spot on.  And second—my words, while far from perfect, profound or novel, are important…and so is sharing them. 

Many things about this week push me right back to what this week felt like last year.  The drive to the office that’s resumed again (though a new office; that’s another post!).  The weather—these teases of spring.  The longer days that mean bikes out in the cul-de-sac and driveways covered art.  The walks home from the bus stop.  I remember doing it all last year.  Before so much of it just stopped.

Writing it all down didn’t stop this day from coming.  It didn’t take the sadness away and it didn’t erase the apprehension that lingers.  Sure, it’s a little quieter these days.  But it’s still there, and I’m guessing it will be for some time.  Mixed in with the doubt and uncertainty is hope.  I suppose, as is true in many a circumstance, your energy flows where your focus goes.  I’ll do my best to give more attention to the hopefulness and the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel.

As I am reading this for the umpteenth time, I fire up my phone and hit PLAY on a playlist.  The first song?  Pink’s “Cover Me in Sunshine.” 

“Cover me in sunshine, shower me with good times.  Tell me that the world’s been spinning since the beginning and everything will be alright.”  Another cannot-be-a-coincidence moment.  I think I’ll turn it up, sing along and hear the words. 


Thanks for reading mine.

 xo,
Amy       

Love Is....

 ....gosh, it's a million things, isn't it?  

It's lazy Sundays, everyone quietly doing their own thing, but still enjoying being together in the same space.

It's vacation!  Big or small, planned or spontaneous, getting away and enjoying a change of scenery is a treasure.  

It's time apart, testing the old "absence makes the heart grow fonder" adage.  And time apart leads to reunions, equally sweet.

Love is family and friends and friends who are family.  It's sitting quietly with someone who's hurting, praying that you can provide them with exactly what they need in that moment.  It's the weight of the trust you've earned to sit with their pain.

Love is a loud backyard full of kiddos and parents, picking up popsicle sticks and soggy towels after an impromptu pool party.  It's sharing pizza in the garage, trading snacks, books and advice and it's getting super excited when all the kids--not just yours--become proficient bike riders!

Love is fancy dinners at a restaurant or even in the dining room with the good china.  And love is eating a random hodgepodge of leftovers in the family room, on the floor while you watch hockey.

It's fighting and making up, talking and listening.  It's celebrating successes, even ones that aren't yours.  It's the unshakable notion that someone always has your back and the comfort that comes from knowing it's entirely mutual.

Love is crying with someone, laughing with someone, carrying secrets and cherishing truth.  It's taking your car to fill up the tank when you're simply too tired to do it yourself.  Love is filling the tub with warm water and Epsom salts, turning the lights down low and encouraging your daughter to please relax and let her worries melt away.

Love is staying up way too late on a "school night" to watch a movie, grabbing whatever moments you can grab as a couple.  Love is Christmas movies in the "off season" and ice cream in the winter.  It's cranking up the best song and singing and dancing until you're breathless.

It's baking and cooking and sharing the food.  It's a full house, rooms filled with laughter and guests who feel like they're at home.  It's having "a thing" that you only share with that one person; like finding "hidden" hearts or seeing the moon in the daytime.  It's a look that speaks volumes, a song lyric that just fits and love is showing up.

Love is hearing and listening, agreeing and arguing, it's respect, compassion and forgiveness.  Love is grace and joy, and sometimes hurt and sorrow.

Love is past, present and future all swirled together like a kaleidoscope you can't stop spinning.  Love is simple moments and grand gestures, it's loud and it's quiet.  Love takes your breath away and gives you strength immeasurable.

It's sharing goals and dreams and following your own.  It's incredibly common, yet exceptionally rare.  Love is prefect and imperfect, flawed and fabulous.  It's a promise and a privilege.

Valentine's Day may be a Hallmark holiday, may be too cheesy to bear. But if it does nothing but offer a moment to ponder what words come after "Love is..." that, in itself, is a gift as lovely as any chocolate, rose or piece of jewelry.  

xo,
Amy

   

Don't Pitch Those Bananas

You know the thing about fresh fruit?  Either you buy it and no one eats it or you're at the store 3-4 times a week to restock.  We're that way with bananas.  We'll blow through a bunch, hurry up and buy more only to watch them turn brown and mushy!  There seems to be no in between.

Fortunately, like darn near everyone during the pandemic, we're never short on recipes for banana bread.  I still don't totally get how or why that became a thing, but I'm not exactly arguing either.  Any excuse to use my new oven and make a mess in the kitchen---I'm in!  

Found this gem at Practically Homemade (Banana Crumb Cake Recipe | Practically Homemade) and it quickly became our go to version.  This is decidedly more cake than bread and definitely one of the many culprits of the "pants are too tight these days" saga that we lived for months. 

With today being Valentine's Day, an impending winter storm and a few perfectly "ruined" bananas on my counter, it seemed like a perfect moment to make this.

The kitchen, I have to tell you, smelled incredible while this was in the oven.  At least twice, the girls came in to see if it was ready---the smell was that enticing.

We quickly shared half with our neighbors (see earlier comment about pants being too tight...considering there's progress on that front, giving this away was a better choice than eating it all ourselves....though seriously tempting!) and popped the other half in the fridge.  

It's so delicious, warmed up just a smidgen in the microwave and enjoyed with a mug of tea.  I feel like I should give the other half away before I lose all willpower!

Hope you enjoy this yummy treat as well!

xo,
Amy

What You'll Need:

Batter

• 1/2 cup butter {softened}
• 1 cup sugar
• 3 ripe bananas {mashed} or about 1 1/4 cups
• 2 large eggs
• 1 tsp vanilla
• 2 tbsp sour cream
• 1 1/2 cup flour
• 2 tsp baking powder
• 1/2 tsp salt

Crumb Mixture

• 1/2 cup butter {softened}
• 1 cup brown sugar
• 1 cup flour
• 3/4 tsp cinnamon

What You'll Do:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees and lightly spray a 9x13 pan with non-stick spray. Set aside.

2. Combine softened butter and sugar in a bowl and beat until well combined.  I used a hand mixer but you can mix it by hand or with a stand mixer.  Add mashed bananas, eggs, vanilla and sour cream, mix to combine. 

3. Add flour, baking powder, salt and stir until just combined {don't over mix}.  Pour into the bottom of the greased 9x13 pan.

4. In a small bowl combine all of the crumb mixture ingredients.  Work the mixture together into small crumbs using a fork.  Don't over work the mixture or you will get a paste and it will change the texture of the bread.  Sprinkle the crumbs in an even and thick layer over the top of the banana bread batter.  Bake for 35-40 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out with only a few moist crumbs or is clean.  Serve warm or cool and cover.  Store at room temperature for up to 3 days or pop it in the fridge.

Notes

•  Cake makes 12 large pieces of crumb cake.
• Make ahead and freeze for up to 3 months.
• Add 1/4 cup of chopped pecans to the crumb mixture for added taste and texture.

Making the Grade

It's been almost a week since January closed out.  A week post-No Senduary and Whole 30.  Almost a week to reflect and consider what grade we earned during the month.  I'm going to go with a solid A-.

Let's start with W30 and first acknowledge that we did it.  We freakin' did it!  We successfully completed another round of Whole 30 and we're actually still at it.  Where we were really strict--no grains, no alcohol, no dairy, no legumes.  Where we gave ourselves a little grace--I still had my Shakeology most days, mixed with water, acceptable fruit, some almond butter, spinach and ice.  We did enjoy white potatoes--one of those in/out good/bad, yes/no foods.  We didn't eat them daily, and we prepared them in W30-compliant ways.  We used scant amounts of flour here and there for recipes, but big picture--it wasn't an all-the-time thing.

I'm sitting here on February 6 having not consumed a single drop of alcohol since New Year's Eve.  Still no dairy---though to be honest, I learned that was a trigger food for me the last round of W30, so it's not a huge victory to be dairy free 6 days later.  I have had some sugar.  Miraculously, I've not eaten a single morsel of the chocolate that's in this house (including a newfound Mocha Chocolate Kit Kat that smells amazing!), but I did indulge (okay, over-indulge) in some gummy candies.  I got a case of "eat until it's gone-itis" and kept going back to the bag until it was empty.  Oye.  Not my finest moment(s) for sure.

Outside of that and a heavy hand in a bag of Buffalo Pretzel Twists (!!), we've maintained the W30 meal planning this week as well.  Our menu is made for next week and it's W30, too.  At this point, it feels pretty routine and we're not making ourselves crazy about it.

Add to all that a combined 22lb weight loss between the two of us so sticking with it seems really reasonable.  I mean, we've got goals we're working towards, and if this is helping, why stop?  I've said it before, and I'll say it again; it's a mindset.  We don't focus on the deprivation.  We don't focus on what's missing or what we can't have/do.  We look at the options we have, make the most of them and focus on the "finish line."

As for No Spenduary, ehhh.  Definitely didn't do as well with that aspect.  We did have a couple spends that didn't fall into the "gas/bills/groceries" buckets.  The good news is, since we're the ones making the rules (kind of like my post every Monday rule), we can call a do-over and go Spendless a couple days in February.  Or March for that matter.  Whatever.  I've actually considered having at least 2 No Spend Weekends a month for the rest of the year.   

Same as with W30, it's a mindset.  It's being thoughtful and deliberate about both the purchase(s) and the motivation behind it.  My purchases came late in the month and were 100% driven by going a little stir crazy, feeling stressed out and looking for a little retail therapy.  That said, I didn't go bonkers, buying for the sake of buying.  I grabbed a couple things we needed (but totally could have waited until February).  And I let myself off the hook, because guilt didn't need to be added to the equation.

Quick Tips:

1.  Have a plan--be prepared and consider challenges you may face so you don't react to them impulsively
2.  Have a partner--it's much easier and more fun to have a buddy along for the ride.  Plus it's built-in accountability!
3.  Have a goal--know WHY you're doing this and keep that front of mind through the month.  How are you measuring your success?  Use that as a barometer for the choices you make.
4.  Have faith--results won't come overnight, keep your WHY in mind and carry on!
5.  Have fun--this isn't meant to be drudgery or torture.  It's about growth and challenging ourselves to shine.

So it's a wrap.  An A- for our effort and results and a huge sense of pride for being disciplined.  Looking forward to what this month will bring and what we will bring to it! 

xo,
Amy

It's ALMOST February!

Confession time! I've broken my No Spenduary rule and I do believe I'm going to break it again tomorrow morning--I'll get back to that in a sec. It's gone REALLY, REALLY well for the vast majority of the month.

Aside from the purchase of appliances (yay, adulthood!) and our backsplash (finally!) which are (A) investments and (B) planned BEFORE No Spenduary started, the FIRST purchase I made was last weekend when we picked up a couple things for the girls at DSG Warehouse Store and Carter's---the shoes I found for Alyssa, a whopping $8, are so darn worth it. We also treated the girls to takeout on their Half Birthdays; it seemed like they could use an extra shot of happiness, and we were glad to oblige. Chipotle for Ab and Hello Bistro for Lyss...happy kiddos, happy parents. They were extra grateful, knowing that we weren't supposed to spend.

Today, I treated myself to a quick (literally, I was speed walking through the store, most likely looking like a total dork!) whirl through Old Navy where I scored a Valentine's Day dress for Alyssa ($7) a pair of shorts for Abby ($1), jeggings for Ab ($15) and leggings for both girls, $3 a pair!

Okay, yes--I broke my self-imposed rule HOWEVER....as is the case with Whole 30, this was as much a mental exercise as it was anything else. This was about discipline and mindfulness, making thoughtful decisions instead of shopping out of habit or reflex. The results speak for themselves--looking at my bank account and the inactivity in there makes me smile.

As for W30, there've been no cheats*---even on my birthday yesterday. I mean, being THIS close to the end of the month, and being SUPER stubborn, I really wanted to see it through. The results we're seeing are pretty great motivators, too! How am I planning to break the rules again tomorrow morning? Ordering breakfast. Oooh, getting crazy, right? When I mentioned that this was as much mental as anything, I realized something---these sacrifices are about resetting habits, but they aren't the only barometer of mood/happiness. Yes, we both feel better...for the most part. Yesterday, for my Birthday, some of my dearest friends surprised me with a quick visit. I knew I missed my people, but I didn't know just how much until they were in my kitchen, my stomach and cheeks hurt from laughing and my heart was overflowing with joy and gratitude. We've been so focused on taking care of our physical well-being, between W30ing, working out and steering clear of COVID, we sorta lost track of how we're feeling mentally. I felt immeasurably better yesterday getting a sliver of time with my friends**. So tomorrow morning, Mark and I are going to order takeout breakfast from a new local joint. We're going to support their business, we're going to eat some yummy food (W30 approved!) and we're going to make an adventure out of running to pick it up. And we'll focus on the time we're spending, not the dime. And we won't feel one ounce of guilt over breaking the rules with this one!

There may be only three more days in the month, but the habits (and results!) will carry over into February and beyond. When you've got goals, ya know....put in the effort to get the results. I'll share a "final" recap next week. Until then---take good care of YOU!

xo, Amy

*I define cheats as breaking the rules in a big way. A glass of wine, eating dessert, having a handful (uhhh, bowl!) of Cheez Its...that kind of thing. NOT the "forbidden" Lara bar or the scant amount of real flour used in a recipe. You say justification, I say reasonable expectation. **Masked, socially-distanced, proper!

A Moment for Mousse

Some things just don't make sense.  Like how I was really hungry last night after dinner, but decided to make chocolate mousse.  Logical, right?  Can't eat it right now (Whole 30, Day #26 remember!?), already hungry, so why not exacerbate the situation.  I mean...that makes no sense!  I don't get it, so I don't expect you to get it.  

Said chocolate mousse was packaged up and delivered with hugs and love to a very special person--at least that part was logical!  Make it and get it the heck out of the house.  Logical, yes.  Without consequence?  No.  I ended up with a very disappointed 6 year old on my hands when she saw me deliver the entire batch.

So we applied more silly logic (wait, is that an oxymoron!?) this morning when, during our two hour delay, we whipped up another batch.  How else would you spend bonus time like that?!

Before you think we're real fancy or complicated, please let me assure we are neither.  This mousse is, in fact, delicious (I did eat it one time when I made it months ago!), really easy and seems much more impressive than the effort would indicate.

Wanna know how it goes?  It's quick--honest!  Don't miss it!

Take 1/2 of a cup of heavy cream and warm it up in the microwave for 1 minute
Add 1 cup of chocolate chips; I splurge and get Ghirardelli 
Mix those together until the chips melt and you've got a lovely, silky, chocolaty mixture
Set that into the fridge for 5-8 minutes to cool off
Whip 1 cup of heavy cream until it forms stiff peaks--4-5 minutes
Scoop out about 1/2 of a cup of the whipped cream to use as topping
Gently fold the chocolate into the remaining cream, incorporating fully
Place the mousse into whatever serving bowl you'd like (I've used stemless wine glasses and even Oui yogurt jars!)
Top with a little whipped cream and shaved chocolate

That disappointed 6 year old was quite joyful when I presented her with a Hershey kiss and a mircroplane and told her to get after it!  At 8:30am!  Then, why not, we popped a little bit into a bowl and tossed it into her lunch bag.  Go 'head, Girl.  Savor that treat in the elementary school cafeteria!!

You'll have to find your own helper, mine's taken!  But even if you're left to your own devices, I promise you that you can make this happen and might even have everything on hand right now!

It's long been a fact (right?!) that many of life's troubles can be cured with chocolate.  It's also long been a fact (stop doubting) that it's a super way to celebrate.  So versatile, this treat.  But hey, no matter how, when or why you have it, ENJOY it!  

xo,
Amy

The Halfway Point!

Here we are, a little more than halfway through the month of January...No Spenduary & Whole 30, too.  Yes, we decided to take 2021 by the horns.  Now, here's the thing.  It's really easy for me to lament all the ways I got here.  The poor choices, the "pour" choices (oye, the wine!) and the choice to simply make it through the long, dark  pandemic days.  Too often that meant a different shade of self-care, one that was, if I'm honest, merely temporary.  

It's easy to go there.  It's not as easy, but extremely important, to give myself a whole heap of grace.  And focus forward.  Which is what this month is all about.  How I got here is only important in so much as it's good to understand my thought process so I can change it!

So how's it going?  Well, it's going pretty darn well.  We're both on track and haven't cheated.  Okay, wait.  Let's put that into context.  There are a handful of items for W30 that are a little harder to come by, so we use what we have, especially when it's a scant amount.  Two tablespoons of flour in an entire recipe?  I use what I have.  Or bacon with no sugar?  I go for the one with the least, knowing I'm using 3 strips for a whole meal for four.  Yeah, I know I should have almond flour or zero sugar bacon or any number of other options, but....I'm willing to bend the rules a bit for something this minor.  

We are steadfast with the other elements; no beans, no alcohol, no grains, no dairy.  We're not supposed to weigh in, but I can tell you that someone has (ahem, not me!) and has seen results.  So that's encouraging.

But really--how's it going?  Okay, truth be told, I have moments where I'm hungry.  Then again, I have days where I almost forget to eat because I feel full/satisfied.  So it changes.  And I really do miss munchies, but heaven knows I had more than enough munchies the past 10 months--a 30 day break won't kill me.  I don't really miss alcohol as much as I expected to.  Mostly because I'm feeling far more positive benefits from abstaining.

I'm less achy, my joints feel better, I definitely feel less puffy---though, again, I've not stepped on a scale.  I'm also feeling more energized through the day--most days.  And I'm sleeping much better.  I've gotten back on track with drinking plenty of water---an easy thing to skip when it's cold out, I find.  And decaf tea and I are buddy-buddy!  

Stubbornness may be a negative trait most times, but it's serving me well right about now.  I made three meals, two batches of Rice Krispie Treats and a batch of cookies recently.  Not a morsel passed my lips.  It would have been really easy to eat a spoonful of each dish--you know, to test it!--but I stayed strong and packed them up to deliver to their recipients.  I'm not even sneaking nibbles from the girls' dishes.  Another easy thing to do, almost without thinking.  And insignificant as they might seem, those sneaky calories add up.

Plus, my thought process has changed and I'm careful about what I say.  Tough day?  Oh, pour a glass of wine.  Wait--that's not the only way to cope, right?  Pens back on the ice?  Cool!  Grab a beer for the game.  Hold up--is that the best choice?  The focus here is on healthy choices---all around, and for all of us.  Even the girls are getting in on the act, blessedly!

Bottom line, we've got 12 days to go and we're going to see it through.  From past experience, we stick to a good chunk of this even beyond Day 30, too.  We're not as strict, but we're also not so slack.  We recognize the effort brings results, and we're not so keen on ruining the results by Day 35.  We've not only changed our eating habits, but our thinking habits as well.  That's huge!

And No Spenduary?  Still going strong, however....we did have a few expenses.  One was a tournament fee for Abby, one was a small care package for my Mom and then there were the kitchen appliances.  The appliances were a long-time in coming, so while we made the purchase this month, the funding had already been set aside.  So maybe that one sort of doesn't count?  And maybe the crazy good deal we got makes it better, too?  Crazy....as in saved HUNDREDS and got better pieces than what we initially chose.  So yeah, we'll take a mulligan on that one.

The other expense we had was a KidPik for each kiddo.  Thanks to my inability to pay attention to the shipping date, they showed up as a lovely little surprise.  I was prepared to simply send them back, because they fall firmly into the "extra" category, but they were kinda on point--and not outrageously-priced.  Soooooo, Happy (early) Valentine's Day, ladies.  But this is a prime example of paying attention to spending habits.  I should have known this was coming so I could have suspended it further*.  Mindless spending, just like those mindless nibbles, can getcha!

No other extras.  No eating out/ordering in.  No drive-thrus, no popping into TJ Maxx, Marshall's, Home Goods--none of it.  No Add to Cart, no just because-s.  I guess being mostly homebound helps with that, but even our online shopping has been shut down.  All it takes is a glance at my bank balance (and the activity ledger that's pretty empty!) to see that this is making the impact we set out to make with this exercise.  

Twelve days to go (with two half birthdays, one REAL birthday and two report cards to celebrate!) and we're determined to hold the line, stay true to our goals and make the most of this first month of 2021.  After last year, flipping the script and trying new ways of doing things felt like an obvious and popular choice.  Cheers to however you're choosing to welcome the new year.

xo,
Amy

*The neat thing about KidPik is that there's no up-front fee and no return postage fee.   So I really could have sent the entire box back without paying a dime.  The girls LOVE getting mail and these packages are so well done, it's hard to squelch their joy!  Like I said, Happy (early) Valentine's Day!  

A List of Likes

My girls have this thing, lately, where they ask me for my favorite EVERYTHING.  Favorite song?  Color?  Movie?  Vacation spot?  Book?  Food?  Thing to do outside?  Thing to do inside?  And my answer is nearly always the same.  "I don't really have a favorite."  It all depends on the mood and the context.  

Favorite movie?  I could go with Keeping the Faith because of the memories it evokes (and its message is pretty cool, too) but I could just as easily point to Dirty Dancing when the need to mindlessly engage in nostalgia and fun music is the call of the day.  It depends.

With that in mind, I decided to curate a List of Likes.  Some would say "these are a few of my favorite things" and I suppose that could be true.  It's a random list, but here it is!  

Crabtree & Evelyn Tarocco Orange Eucalyptus & Orange ultra-moisturizing hand therapy.  I found two small tubes of this gem a week ago as I was cleaning out some baskets in my linen closet.  Smells very spa-like, feels awesome going on, lasts a good long while (even through frequent handwashing!) annnnnnnnnnnnd it's no longer available.  Because that is exactly "on brand" with the way things are rolling these days, right? 

The fact that it’s still light out at 4:57pm!  Who's with me?  Who's enjoying the idea that days are getting longer?  It's subtle, but it's happening.  And it's a lovely reminder of what's to come.

The luxury of curling up with a cozy blanket, a mug of tea and a good book.  Bonus if one of the girls curls up on/with me!  Extra bonus if it’s dreary enough to turn the fireplace on and really get the mood!  I'm determined to stay the course with my goal of at least 10 pages a day, so reading has returned to its spot on the TO DO list.  It still feels like such a luxury, but maybe that's the point?

Driveway visits from my Mom---with food!  So yes, COVID stinks.  And being apart from family really stinks.  Not being able to hug my Mom and Dad?  Ugh---temporary though it is, it's still a gut punch.  So when my Mom invents reasons to pop over for a driveway visit, we indulge.  And when the reason she invents involves bringing food, we're extra happy.  I really believe that no matter how old you are, having your Mom take care of you in big or even small ways is a huge blessing.

Supportive husbands!  He barely blinked when I declared January as No Spenduary AND another round of Whole 30.  And he could have.  He could have rolled his eyes and told me I was on my own.  But he didn't.  God love Mark, he dove into meal planning with me, committed to making the next 30 days really count and gave me a shot of encouragement.  I've always said there's a difference between being ALLOWED do something and being ENCOURAGED to do it.  I'm pretty glad Mark's along for the ride with me, because it's a lot easier with him in my corner, that's for sure!

Amazing friends--including those I've never even met!  Yeah, that's right!  I count myself incredibly blessed to have friends who cheer me on, talk me down, lift me up and bring out my best even when they've seen me at my worst.  And while the pandemic has done a banner job of limiting or eliminating our together time, our bonds have become even stronger.  

It's a 10 minute chat across the yard in the middle of a walk, a New Year's Eve tradition reimagined rather than altogether cancelled and the enthusiastic offer to support a work-related project that culminated in a Starbucks date where we sat outside, enjoying an abnormally warm December day!  It's the weekly TWOsday text train that's been going on for 5 years.  It's sharing books, sharing coping mechanisms for the heavy moments and sharing laughs.  Friends are rich treasures to be held close.  

And then there's this fantastic group of "pocket friends" (phrase borrowed from one of the lovely ladies in the group) that I was invited to join last year during Dry January.  I know ONE person in this group--my friend Sarah (the one I've never met in person, despite being friends for nearly 20 years...say whaaaaa!?) but that has zero impact on the value of this squad.  I'm so enjoying the humor, wisdom, support and perspective of this group of cool humans.  I could easily picture us all gathered around a huge farm table for a lovely brunch.  It's that kind of vibe.  And I'm grateful for it.  

Playoff football!  I've lost my dedication to the NFL, haven't watched many games in the past few years, but there's something about the energy of playoff football.  There's an extra urgency to each play, there's a level of stress that's just this side of too much--and I have tons of fond memories of watch parties at our house with awesome friends, food for miles and superstitions galore.  Bonus when there's some friendly trash talking going on with a buddy!  Good stuff!

And while we're talking sports....HOCKEY'S BACK!  As of this week, the Pens will be on the ice again and that just feels right.  Cozy nights watching them while wearing my lucky pants and listening to the girls go crazy when they score?  So.  Much.  Fun!

My job!  For so many reasons.  The normal ones--it's a paycheck, it's fulfilling, my co-workers are cool.  And then the other ones--it's a great way to teach my girls about giving back, about reaching for more, about being successful in more than one area in life.  About comebacks from setbacks and about the importance of being valued.  It's knowing that our work makes a difference in people's lives.  A real, lasting difference that often ripples outward, impacting more than we ever know.

Music!  There is no way I could ever pick a favorite.  Song, genre---nope!  A single one of my playlists includes everything from Frank Sinatra to Lauren Daigle to Blue October, Dua Lipa, Gavin DeGraw and even something from the Zombies soundtrack.  Honest!  But man does music do all the things.  Soothe my heart?  Yup!  Energize me?  No doubt.  Bring back amazing memories of a specific moment in time?  So frequently.  Via Alexa, Amazon Music or even good ole CDs, I'm forever playing something in the background.  

My Bellabeat.  I was fortunate to receive this gem as a gift, then sadly--it sat unused for way too long before I figured it out (eye roll, go ahead!) with the help of the lovely Kate.  Know I wear it daily and love the tracking, the gentle reminders to move more, grab water and even the 3:00 alarm that reminds me to pause and whisper a specific prayer.  There's a saying that your only competition is yourself.  With Bellabeat, I can see my daily activity levels and challenge myself to be better the next day.  It's a fun game, where even when I lose I win!  Plus, it's pretty and versatile, able to be worn like (because it looks like) jewelry. 

And finally, my blog! One of my 2021 goals is to write at least one post per week.  Sitting quietly (with music of course) at the computer and sharing thoughts or recipes or observations--it somehow both energizes me and calms me.  See?  I can't even pick a favorite emotion/response.  No matter.  I'll keep writing.  For one person, for a bunch of people.  For me, for an audience.  I'll keep writing.  Because that is, and has been for as long as I can remember, definitely one of my favorite things!

xo,
Amy