Sunday, March 20, 2016

Whoops!

I've got a question for you.  Do you think it's better to never make a mistake or make mistakes, own them, learn from them and move forward?  It's a real question.  I think we're taught that making mistakes is something to avoid.  And I suppose there's some degree of truth to that.  I also think there's some falsehood there, too.  Mistakes are wonderful teachers---if you use them properly.

Today's post is dedicated to mistakes.  Because, really---why not recognize that we all fail from time to time, we all come up a little short and heaven knows we all look for the "Do Over" button at least once a day.  I'd like to go one step further, and talk about how I learned from and moved forward after the mistake.  To me, that's the best part. 

You know that I'm a Mom.  I've got two sweet kiddos; Abby and Alyssa.  They really are sweet; I'm not just saying that because they're mine.  You also know that I work full-time.  And you probably know where this is going.  There are times when the two worlds collide and a less-than-great version of Mom comes out.  Make that lashes out.  I hate to admit it; it genuinely makes me sick.  But the other night, I lost my patience and snapped at Abby while I was bathing her.  Seconds before, she had asked if we could play a game while she took a bath.  Frazzled Mom responded with a sigh, an eye roll and a very half-hearted "we'll see."  Then I asked her a question, and when her response wasn't what I was looking for, I snapped.  And the tears came; hers and then mine.  She was just answering me, but I was annoyed and stressed and I let that cloud my response.

As I got her out of the tub, dried off and dressed in her jammies, we talked about how I reacted.  We talked about how sometimes people lose their tempers or make a bad choice.  To my surprise, she turned and said, "Kind of like when I ripped that brush out of Alyssa's hand earlier because she didn't listen to me when I asked her to give it to me?"  She gets it.  She's not even 7 years old, and she gets it.  We hugged it out and made a promise to do and be better.  And I've been very conscious of that promise every minute since.



My lesson?  Slow down, put yourself in her shoes for a second and realize that you are her everything.  And when she's talking to you, she is sharing her thoughts with someone who's so important to her.  Listen.  Understand.  And when you need a break, lean on Mark to step in/step up, because he will.  And it's okay to step away for a minute.  It really is.  Moms need time outs too from time to time!

How about work mistakes?  Yep.  Made some of those, too.  Put together a proposal only to have it totally rearranged.  I thought I understood the objectives, but other people had other ideas.  No pride of ownership here; back to the drawing board I went, determined to get it right.  And I did.  But it took a couple attempts and some conversations.  My lesson?  Get more clarity up front, get things in writing and allow enough time for everyone to weigh in on the "final" product before it really is "final."  Messed it up (in a manner of speaking), didn't die.  Alright!!

Oh, and Coaching mistakes?  You better believe I've made those, too.  The most common mistake---ugh, it's saying NO for people.  Yeah.  How dumb is that?  Here's the most honest, boil it all down thing---I love Beachbody.  I love the company, our leadership, our commitments and our products.  I love what I've been able to achieve, both physically and financially as a result of being introduced to this opportunity. 

WHY, in the world!!, do I get "shy" or "squirrely" about sharing that with others?  I know some of that answer; I don't want to offend anyone.  I don't want to be pushy.  Uhhhh, thing is---who would be offended if I said, "I really enjoy this program and I've made money sharing that with others.  You could, too--would you like to learn how?"   Duh!

So I think about reaching out, I think about asking someone to consider Coaching, I think about asking them to try a program---and then I convince myself they won't want to hear it.  Good grief is that dumb.

Lesson?  It's not my place to say NO--or yes!--for anyone other than myself (well, and my kiddos and Mark when he wants to wear a ridiculous tshirt in public!).  Share.  Share all the time.  Share because I care.  Share because someone once shared for me---and had they not, I wouldn't have forged some amazing friendships, lost weight, gained confidence and earned additional income for our family.



Workout mistakes?  Heck yeah---I've made those, too.  My favorite (it must be, because I've made it more than once) mistake?  Being consistently inconsistent.  You get the concept, right?  The most consistent thing about my workout "routine" was the Stop/Start/Start/Stop nature of it.  It left me frustrated, way short of goal and, frankly, sore.  I'd workout hard, get sore, and skip days to recover.  Then I'd skip a couple more days because, well, LIFE, and then I'd start up again---get sore again, take a break....and the cycle continued.

My lesson?  Stick with it for the love of all that is HOLY!  I mean, really.  It's not like my workouts are super-human feats of endurance.  I'm not scaling mountains or running marathons.  I'm not swimming 833394839483637 miles or completing a weight lifting circuit inspired by some insane body builder.  Nope.  I'm looking at a max of an hour.  An hour!  Clearly I can--and should, and MUST--make that kind of time for myself, right?

Seems like a great time for a quick plug.  The newest program I'm working on is 22 Minute Hard Corps.  Yes, 22 minutes.  I remember chuckling when it was first announced.  First 25 minutes, now 22?  Yeah.  Okay.  But let me tell you....these are some intense, but FUN (no, really!) 22 minutes.  And I'm loving it.  I find it "easy" to make the time for this workout and, on more than one occasion, Abby has joined me for a good bit of the routine.  Seriously.

Alright, so there you have it.  A couple "behind the curtain" moments, intended to remind you that mistakes are part of life.  And making them means learning.  And learning means growing.  We're human.  We're fallible.  The mistake is not the end unless you let it be.   

This is why pencils come with erasers and someone invented white out.  There's a reason for the backspace key and the delete one, too.  Not everything, once done, can be undone.  But not making mistakes means missing out on lessons.  And who couldn't use a lesson or two more in their day?

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