The F Word(s)

Did you know that Abraham Lincoln had at least 9 failures before becoming President?  And I'm talking FAILURES.  Losing jobs, nominations, even being defeated in a Senate run.  Twice.  Ouch.

And yet his face still graces the penny and the five dollar bill.  The Lincoln Memorial in DC boasts more than 4,000,000 visitors a year.  Soooooooooooooooo, fair to say he managed to become a pretty big deal despite those failures?

Politics not your thing?  Well, Michael Jordan.  Did you know that he missed more than 9,000 shots over the course of his career?  Sure, that's more shots than the average NBA player even takes, but still.  How about 26 times, he was given the "make this shot to win" ball and missed.  He.  Missed.  But holy cow do we hold him up as one of the greatest.

Walt Disney (fired because he lacked imagination and good ideas), Oprah (deemed unfit for TV) and Elvis---they all failed, suffered serious rejection and probably, as taboo as it may be to utter, some hurt feelings along the way, too.

Who cares, right?  Why bother pointing out that they've failed?  Am I mean-hearted or cynical?  Am I somehow reveling in the idea that these folks who've been more or less placed on pedestals may, in fact, be somehow less deserving of said status?  Nope.

I'm pointing it out because failure is not fatal.  In most cases--don't make me go all legal-ese here and point out instances where failure is, in fact, fatal.  Let's go with that for the purpose of this post, shall we?  Alright, thanks!

And why do I care that failure isn't fatal?  Because this post is as much a note to me as it is to you.  I mean, I can't know your circumstances (unless you'd like to share them with me, and--by all means--do!), but I know mine.  And I know that I've been grappling with that F word for a while now.  And I'm grabbing it by its theoretical shoulders and shaking it.  It's been bullying me--or rather, I've been letting it bully me--for far too long.  And it stops.  Now. 

Raise your hand if you've been bullied too.  Go ahead.  I'm not judging.  I'm hugging.  And understanding.  And caring.  And challenging.  I'm challenging you to kick it to the curb.  I'm challenging myself to kick it to the curb.  We're stronger than our failures, aren't we?  Aren't we?  Yes, yes we are---that's the answer you were looking for, by the way.

So we've arrived at the point in the post where we meet Failure's friend, Fear.  The other F word.  Ugh.  Now that is a serious bully.  Talk about a 1-2 punch.  Blech.  Makes my stomach knot up just writing their names. 

Fear.  Go ahead.  Visualize what FEAR would look like if it was sitting next to you right this moment.  I bet you went to something ugly and dark and scary.  I get it.  It is fear, after all.  And that bugger is strong and unrelenting and sometimes (gulp) irrational.  Oh.  The horror of it all.

So Failure and Fear get together, team up into one crazy super villain and suddenly we're powerless to defend ourselves.  Or so it seems.  So.  It.  Seems.  And seems is the operative word.  F&F take up residence in our heads and mess 'em all up.  We don't think properly, we don't make sane decisions and we for darn sure don't let the spiraling out of control thoughts win.  Oh, wait.  We do.  Blech, I say.  Again.

If only we all had that Cher character in Moonstruck to slap us across the face and demand that we "snap out of it!"  And yes, I'm totally dredging up an eons-old movie reference there.  Deal.  But you agree, don't you?  Sometimes the best thing, the thing you need the most, is that kind of slap.  Maybe literally, too. 

I guess this post is sort of my own version of that slap.  No, I'm not slapping you--I'm slapping myself.  I've let Failure and Fear get way too cozy up in this brain 'o mine and it's time I tell them to get lost.  Beat it.  Scram.  Okay, now I'm going all 1950s here.  Scram?  Whatever---the point is, Fear & Failure need to pack up and go.  Fast.

The longer they stick around, the longer I see them as normal or familiar.  And Lord knows I don't want that.  I can't help myself when they're here and I sure as Sam can't help anyone else.  Mercy!  Now.  How does one evict Failure and Fear you might be asking.  Hell--I'm asking that, too. 

Thankfully, I went to church on Saturday and listened to Pastor talk about the loaves and fishes.  We've all heard the story.  But tonight's twist was less on the miracle of how so little fed so many, and more about the idea is that Jesus urged the Disciples to feed the people who had gathered.  "You do it," He commanded.  YOU do it.   Interesting.  It got me thinking about what I needed to do...not someone else, but me.  Myself.  I.  Taking action, making a difference.  Huh.

 

Back to this eviction process; it is up to YOU.  You have to be your own Cher, in a manner of speaking.  And if that seems too tough right away, let's crowd your head with so much other good stuff that Failure and Fear get all, "Peace out, Cub Scout."  Invite confidence (even if you have to fake it initially).  Invite happiness, success and experience.  Invite determination, dedication and ability.  Invite perseverance and a powerful driving force behind your goals and your actions.  Invite positive words, thoughts and people.  Invite a little patience, too, while you're at it.

I said that Failure isn't fatal.  And yet here I am, trying to get rid of it.  Confused?  Yeah, sorry about that.  See, the thing is, Failure may not be fatal, but if it's holding you back, that is pretty harmful.  So it needs to go, not because it's something we hope and pray we never encounter, but because it can, too often, handcuff us and prevent us from moving forward.

Alright, so you've invited all this other stuff, leaving little room for Failure and Fear.  You're taking a stand against this bully and you're looking at what can be rather than what can't be.  You're off to a great start.  Now what?

How about setting some new goals?  For me, the goals I set---and missed---are staring at me, taunting me with “You failllllllled, Amy.  You misssssssssed.”  And while trying and failing is infinitely better than not trying at all, maybe it’s time to try new things.  So I’m setting new goals.  And no, I’m not waiting for a new year or even a new month to start them (though the OCD part of my brain kind of wants to launch these goals on August 1).  I’m starting today.  Now.  With a small goal; read for 20 minutes before bed.  I can do that.  And the reading will be just as good for me as the feeling of accomplishment I’ll get from successfully completing the task.  And that will fuel me to do more, and more, and before you know it, I’ll be driving the Accomplishment Train and Fear & Failure will be growing smaller in the rear view mirror. 

That is, until they crop up again.  Because they will.  And all I can do when they do is read this post again, be smart and know that I’m stronger than my fears and that my failures alone won’t define me. 

Jalapeno Stuffed Chicken Breasts

Bar food.  First thing that comes to mind?  Other than "pairs well with beer."  Chances are wings are on the list.  Maybe potato skins.  How about jalapeno poppers?  Oozing with creamy cheese, a little crunch and a good bit of heat, too.  Did I mention the beer?  Cold and refreshing in an icy mug.....mmmm!

Well, that is certainly not a recipe for a well-rounded meal and I cannot, in good conscious, recommend such a meal.  What would people say?  Ha!!

So instead, how about if we take some of the elements and put a dinner-y twist on them!?  Introducing Jalapeno Popper Stuffed Chicken.

I came across this recipe (no, not during a "Pinning While Hungry" bender, thank you very much!) a few weeks ago and decided to give it a go.  I will say that I used fat free cream cheese and subbed in Panko breadcrumbs.  One was a noticeable difference, the other not so much (hint: it was the bread crumbs!).

This meal was easy to prepare, and, paired with veggies and a salad, it was a far cry from the grease-lined basket o' junk at the bar!  I will also say that if we make this again, we may lighten up on the amount of cheese; there was a good bit left over and we had some big pieces of chicken to stuff.  I mixed the left over cheese with a little ranch and hot sauce to use as a dipping sauce, but we decided we really didn't need it.

The chicken was moist with flavorful and just the right amount of heat.  Hot sauce be damned!

What You'll Need:2 boneless chicken breasts
6oz cream cheese, softened
3/4 cup Monterrey Jack cheese
1/3 cup jalapeno peppers, diced
1 cup flour
2 eggs, whisked
2 cups plain bread crumbs
olive oil
salt and pepper
kitchen twine or toothpicks

What You'll Do:Preheat your oven to 350 degrees

Make a slit in the middle of each chicken breast, not going all the way through, but making a pocket into which you'll stuff the cheesy goodness.  Season the chicken with salt and pepper.

In a small bowl, mix the cream cheese, Monterrey Jack and jalapenos until well combined.

Using your hands, stuff the cheese mix into the pocket in each piece of chicken.  You don't want it to be overly full, but don't scrimp!

Now, either tie or secure the chicken breasts closed with the toothpicks; whatever you've got!

Get your breading station together; each of the the three elements in its own bowl.  Dredge each chicken breast in the flour first, then the egg, then the bread crumbs.

Put those puppies in a screaming hot pan with a little drizzle of olive oil.  3-5 minutes per side should do the trick.  Then, it's into the oven they go to finish off.  20-25 minutes and about 5 minutes of resting before you tear into them.  The chicken is meant to rest.  Oh, fine, you can too!

I suppose that if you want to go for the bar vibe, you could crack open a beer, charge yourself way too much for it and stand in line for a while at the ladies room.  Or not.  Either way, enjoy  your dinner!

21 Day Fix

This is not a new program.  It's not "hot off the press" and I was not among the very first to do it.  Nope.  I resisted.  See, I get you.  I'm like you.  Heck, I am you.  I'm the girl---the COACH, for crying out loud!---who hemmed and hawed and hesitated and made excuses.  I did.  Gosh that's not easy to admit.  But hey, we're all friends here, right?  And we speak the truth and we don't judge.  So.  Moving on.

Do you know what my biggest hesitation was?  These gosh darn little containers.  And really, not even so much the containers, but the idea of meal planning around them.  Mercy.  I was overwhelmed.  Remember---I'm the same girl who let spaghetti squash intimidate her.  We all have our quirks, right?  Sigh.

Everyone I spoke to about the program told me the same thing; they could not eat all of their containers at first. Re-read that.  This is a "diet" (it's not, but let's use that word for the sake of the point I'm making here) and people were saying they were unable to eat all the food.  Since when is that a thing?  What are we used to hearing?  "I'm starving.  I can't function without eating.  All I've had is a saltine and water."  Yeah, that's not how this goes down.  Or so I heard.

I also heard that the containers were a little confusing at first, but then someone learned that each container has (duh!) a precise measurement.  So rather than 1 purple or 2 reds, you know it's 1 cup and 3/4 of a cup.  Brilliant.  That might help some folks, right?  It did.  Again, so I heard.

Then there were the workouts.  I heard that Autumn was really sweet, super spunky and motivational.  And she will Kick. Your. Butt.  In 30 little minutes.  Or rather 30 sweat filled, hard-working, total body inclusive minutes.  Sweet and spunky my butt (which I need to get moving!). 

And then it happened.  I hit "that point" (you know the one---that mythical place you cannot see or predict that things change and suddenly ACTION is all you can think about) and I was ready to give in and try this program. 

Remember, I'm a Coach, so I'm in the business of helping others.  So reaching out for help myself was a little outside of my comfort zone.  Yeah.  Fun.  But I did, because action was all I could think about.  And results.  Because thoughts and feelings lead to actions and actions lead to results.  I was thinking and feeling a little sluggish, a little in need of a reboot and a lot in need of someone to help get me back on track.

I texted a fellow Coach and friend and laid it out there.  I hit send and I waited.  Within minutes, she responded with the tech equivalent of a high five and a meal plan.  Suddenly it did not look hard at all.  And I mean at all.  I was almost embarrassed that I had overcomplicated (shocker!) this whole thing and made myself crazy.  Remember--we're not judging, right?

As I would do with any of my Challengers, I took my BEFORE pictures and my measurements.  And I wasn't totally disgusted with what I found.  But that didn't matter.  I didn't need to be "there" to know that I wanted to be better.  And better I would become over 21 days.

Seriously, folks.  It's 21 days and the workouts are 30 minutes each.  Really.  If we can't all carve out that kind of time for ourselves, we've clearly got bigger issues.  Anyway....I stuck to the plan, I did the workouts and I started to notice changes.  They weren't huge, but they were noticeable and that motivated me.  Of course my Coach was there, too.  More than once she'd text me in support and offer reminders when my resolve weakened ever so slightly.

In three weeks, I lost 6 pounds and 6 inches (funny how that worked out).  But I gained a lot more.  I started and completed another program, I got back into the groove and I really paid attention to how and what I was eating.  Remember I said it's not a diet?  It's not.  It's a solid rebuild of our eating habits.  And that can (and should and has) last a whole lot longer than 21 Days.

None of us is perfect and none of us is immune to temptations, slip-ups and needing help.  I mean, my gosh, that's what keeps me going as a Coach; knowing that despite all of that, people are always looking to improve and begin writing new chapters.  And we're not immune to hesitations, either.  Whatever it is that's holding you back from trying something, from reaching out--I get it.  I totally understand.  I also know that wishing and waiting doesn't do a whole lot.  But taking action, now that's how things get done.  You're so much more capable than you might think you are.  Get out of your own way, give the excuses a well-deserved kick to the curb and get going.  We can get going together if you'd like! 

I not only rekindled my love of working out regularly, but my love of Coaching was reinvigorated with this awesome program.  So excited that it's on promo pricing until the end of the month* so I can, hopefully, introduce you to it as well.

Oh yeah, those pictures I took....I'll share those, too.  Why not?  I am most certainly a work in progress and I am always happy to share the journey.  There's room for you to march along in the Progress Parade, too.  Let me know...


*June, 2015

My daughter joined in, too!  Lead by example!

Pasta 'n Shrimp FIX Style! Innnnnnnnnndeed!

I know I've not done a super fantastic (or even super. or even fantastic. or even fair, really) job of sharing my 21 Day Fix story.  And I will.  I should.  I mean, it's nothing earth shattering, except that it kind of is.  No, I didn't lose a gazillion pounds and no I'm not totally shredded.  But we'll get to that in another post.

What I can, and will, share now is a 21 Day Fix-approved recipe that went over really well.  With everyone in our house.  Even the babe had a taste--and gave it a drooly endorsement.  I did not disclose, upfront, that this was a meal from a "diet" partially because I really didn't see it that way and partially because I didn't want eye rolls.  

What I did want--and got-- was a positive response to this yummy dinner.  And THEN I hit 'em with the fact that it's on the plan.  Speechless.  And I did a victory lap around the kitchen.  That's when I got the eye rolls.

But whatever.  Alright, enough pretense.  Here's the deal!!

What You'll Do:1 cup of whole grain penne 2 yellow
6 large or jumbo shrimp, uncooked (fresh or thawed if frozen)  1 red
Mrs. Dash seasoning, pinch
1 teaspoon of coconut oil (or olive oil)  1 spoon
5 asparagus, chopped  0.5 green
Cherry tomatoes, halved  0.5 green*
2 garlic cloves, minced
1/4 teaspoon of red pepper flakes (optional)
Lemon juice
1 tablespoon of crumbled goat cheese  0.5 blue

What You'll Do:Remove the shells and/or tails from the shrimp and season with a large pinch of Mrs. Dash seasoning.
Cook the whole grain penne according to the package directions.

While the pasta is cooking…
Heat 1 teaspoon of coconut oil over a medium heat. Add the chopped asparagus. Sauté for 3 minutes. Add the halved tomatoes, minced garlic and red pepper flakes (optional) and sauté for 1 more minute.
Add the shrimp and a squirt of lemon juice. Cook for 2-3 minutes until shrimp is pink and fully cooked, flipping the shrimp over halfway through.

Drain the whole grain penne and add to the skillet.

Top with the crumbled goat cheese.

The warmth of the pasta and shrimp causes the goat cheese to get a little creamier and gives the impression of sauce without being super heavy.  Mmm.  My mouth is watering.  And Abby just walked in and saw the picture and said, "Mama, is that what we're having for dinner tonight?  Please, please, please?"  She was less than thrilled when I told her we weren't having this.  Tonight.  But guess what may have just earned a spot in the rotation for later in the week?  Yup!

You almost don't need a salad with this since there are so many veggies in there, but you certainly could throw one together if your heart desires.  And heaven knows we don't always get enough veggies.  So what the heck?  Go for it!

Enjoy, and thanks for stopping by!  Be sure to let me know if there's something you'd like me to write about....I feel a couple guest blogger posts coming your way soon.  Stay tuned for that!
 
*Hubs isn't a huge fan of tomatoes, so we swapped in some roasted red peppers

Lemon + Basil + Porkchops

Once again, I've neglected my blog....it's sad and in need of some attention.  And that makes me crazy because I have a zillion ideas for posts, and several started....but not as much time as I'd like to flesh them all out.

So, what do I do?  Post a recipe of course.  I mean....if you haven't figured out that I'm all about food yet, well....I can't help you. 

I'm on Day #2 of a Three Day Cleanse* so planning out my menu for the week was a bit cruel.  I've talked before about PWH (Pinning While Hungry) and how deadly that can be.  Well, try PWC (Pinning While Cleansing) and I was ready to take a bite out of my iPad.  I didn't--I have some level of restraint (but not much!).

In any event, I came across this gem of a recipe (thanks, bitzandgiggles.com) and between the pictures, the ingredients and the simplicity, I was sold.  And I'm sharing it here, now, with you in the hopes that you'll enjoy it, too.  These are slated to hit the grill on Wednesday night.  Add some brown rice and veggies and I think this has a real shot of being added to the "Make Again" pile.

To help save time, I may make up the wet rub on Tuesday night and add it to the chops when I get home on Wednesday, giving it the 20 minutes to absorb while I change clothes and visit with the girls.  Who's thinking ahead, eh?

Lemon Basil Grilled Pork Chops

Yields 4

What You'll Need:

4 thick-cut, boneless pork loin chops
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 cup fresh basil leaves, minced
3 tablespoons minced garlic
3 tablespoons lemon juice
1 teaspoon sea salt
3/4 teaspoon pepper

What You'll Do:
Add olive oil, basil, garlic, lemon juice, salt and pepper to a bowl and mix well.
Spread both sides of the pork chops with the mixture and let the chops set for about 20 minutes.
Grill chops over direct heat for about 5-6 minutes per side or until the internal temperature reaches at least 145 degrees.
Let rest for 5 minutes before serving. 

*Three Day Cleanse with Shakeology is a fantastic way to kickstart some weight loss and/or get back on track after a little bit of over-indulgence.  Hey, it happens.  Even to Coaches.  If you're interested in learning more about it, I'll happily share my results and the method with you.  Heck, I can even get you product.  And believe me when I tell you this is not like "some" cleanses (if you know what I mean, and I bet you do!).

Brave on Easter

"You're brave," she said.  And no, I was not about to do anything spectacular like skydive or attempt to take Abby's beloved "Puppy" away from her so he could get a much needed bath.  I was "brave" (according to my Mom) because I tried not one, not two but THREE new recipes for Easter lunch.  If that qualifies me as brave, well then I guess I'll wear that mantel. 

And since they were all a success, I'll share them with you, too.  Buckle up, because here they come. 

The first--cleaned up hash brown potato casserole.  Not a lick of butter (sorry, Paula Deen) or cream of chemical soup.  I saw that and figured I'd give them a whirl.  Yes, you know I do my best to eat clean most of the time.  I do.  I really do.  And there's all that 80/20 talk, too.  I knew I was making a carrot cake for dessert, so I decided to clean and lighten up where I could so that a piece of that cake could be in my plan.  And it was.  Oh, it was!!!

What You'll Need1 bag (20 oz) frozen shredded Hash Browns
1 cup Greek Yogurt
1/4 cup low-sodium broth (i used veggie..chicken would be fine too)
1/4 cup 2% Milk  (use at least 2%….need the fat to work as a binder)
1 heaping T good grainy mustard
1/3 onion (i used red…whatever you have on hand) grated in for juice, then dice a bit up
2-3 cloves minced garlic (or you can grate this in too)
1 tsp all purpose seasoning or Italian seasoning
1/2 tsp cracked black pepper
dash salt
1 cup shredded  cheese (i used a sharp cheddar….just don’t use low-fat, it won’t melt right and the consistency will be off)

What You'll Do
Mix all together in a bowl. 
Spray glass or ceramic dish…DO NOT USE METAL!!! Never use metal pans when working with yogurt!!! The acidity will affect the taste….not in a good way!
Pour in GLASS or CERAMIC dish and bake 350 for at least an hour.
I also topped mine with smoked sweet paprika before baking.  You could use chili powder, reg paprika, etc…(if you don’t have fresh garlic or onions you can substitute 1 tsp garlic powder and 1 tsp onion powder)


Next up, a delicious and really pretty salad.  The recipe serves 4, so I doubled it to feed our guests...and there was plenty!

What You'll Need:

8 asparagus spears—ends cut off and halved

10 green beans—halved

1 cup frozen fava (broad) beans (I used lima beans)

1 small carrot—peeled and sliced into thin rounds

1½ cups cherry tomatoes—halved

½ yellow pepper —cut into thin strips

½ zucchini—halved lengthwise and thinly sliced into half moons

3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil

1½ tablespoons lemon juice

1 tablespoon finely chopped fresh basil

½ clove garlic—minced

¼ teaspoon salt

¼ teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

What You'll Do:
Bring a pot of water to the boil.
Add the asparagus, green beans and fava beans and cook for 3 minutes.
Immediately drain and toss into a pot of ice water for a few minutes, then place the asparagus and green beans in a salad bowl.
Peel the fava beans (by removing the leathery outer skins) and add to the same bowl with the carrot, cherry tomatoes, yellow pepper and zucchini.
Combine the olive oil, lemon juice, basil, garlic, salt and pepper in a screw-top jar and shake well to combine.
Toss the salad ingredients gently with the dressing just before serving.







And finally, a fantastic and super easy fruit dip.  I made this on Saturday, and I think it gave the flavors a good chance to develop.  Yum!

What You'll Need:
4 ounces low fat cream cheese, softened
1 cup plain non fat Greek yogurt
3 tablespoons powdered sugar
2 teaspoons lemon zest
2 tablespoons lemon juice
1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract (optional; I skipped it---okay, I forgot it!)
Strawberries, blackberries, blueberries, graham crackers for serving

What You'll Do: In the bowl of a stand mixer or using a hand mixer, beat together the softened cream cheese and yogurt until creamy and completely combined.
Add in the powdered sugar, lemon zest, lemon juice, and vanilla extract and beat again until thoroughly combined and creamy, about 3 minutes.
Cover and chill until ready to serve.
Serve with strawberries, blackberries, blueberries, or graham crackers for dipping.

I went with berries only (saving room for the cake, remember?!), but I could see this with mini vanilla wafers, too.  It was light, fresh and easy!  

And that, my friends, is how I managed to clean up Easter AND make room for a little piece of carrot cake.  Hey, that has veggies in it, too, right?  So it can sorta count as healthy.....come on, help a girl out!

Imperfect Action....and a whole lotta thoughts!

When I was about 7 or 8 years old, I made my First Holy Communion.  We learned about Confession.  And it started with, "Bless me Father for I have sinned.  It has been x amount of time since my last Confession." 

So, today, with full-on Catholic guilt and phrases borrowed from a long time ago, I pick up a pen and paper (metaphorically-speaking) and dive back into this blog.  I like to think you've been waiting for me, therefore, expecting an apology, so please---accept this one:  I'm sorry.  Or better yet, "Bless me, Reader for I have slacked.  It has been waaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy too long since my last blog entry that didn't include food."  Please feel free to suggest a penance I should do to return to your good graces.  Maybe something like three Hail Marys, an Our Father and four blog posts.  Gotcha.

I like to think you've missed me.  I like to think you've checked back often, only to walk away from the keyboard, head hung low, a sigh an exasperated sigh of "still nothing from her" exhaled from your mouth.  You'll let me think that, won't you?  Thanks.  See?  I knew I liked you!

And because I like you, fair warning!  Due to the gigantic span between posts, this entry could easily get away from me---and it might.  It very well may become a post that winds around like a back country road.  And if it does, I'll do my best to dot the landscape with pretty scenery to enjoy as you ride shotgun for this one.

I promised a blog about the birth of our second daughter, Alyssa Jane.  I promised the whole story and all the fun details.  And then I started writing it.  In between feedings and diapers and sleeping, I made notes and outlined the basic beginning, middle and end.  And those notes stayed safely hidden in my journal.  They weren't hidden for any reason other than the immense pressure I put on myself to capture the story just right.  I wanted to make sure I shared enough, but not too much.  I wanted to offer insight but not minutia.  
 

Alyssa Jane is here!

I realized I was stalling on writing this story.  I was stalling like my 5 year old stalls some nights at bedtime.  One more cup of water--one more draft.  One more story--one more re-read.  I was stalling because this would be the last "How My Baby Came Into the World" story I would write.  At least the last one starring me. 

The weight of that was not lost on my post-pregnancy hormonal brain.  So I stalled.  I pulled a "head in the sand makes it not exist" trick and I simply didn't write it.  And I'm here to tell you (spoiler alert!) that not writing Alyssa's story did not slow down time, did not change the finality of the situation and it really didn't change a darn thing, as a matter of fact!

At 2:44pm on Wednesday, July 23, 2014 we joyfully welcomed a 7 pound, 13 ounce baby girl.  "Two for two," is how Mark put it as the doctor invited him to peek over the curtain and see our baby for the first time.  We named her Alyssa Jane and we all fell in love before our hearts took a second beat.  Abby was the first person, other than Mark and the medical crew, to meet her.  She came around the corner into the recovery room, holding Mark's hand with a look on her face that was a mixture of tentative and determined.  She took one look at Alyssa's pink cap and turned to me, hands clasped and said, "I knew in my heart Sprout was a Sister, Mama."  Don't even ask if I kept it together.  You know the answer to that one!

In a twist that only God could manufacture, Alyssa not only waited (as she was asked!) until after Abby's birthday to arrive (so what that it was only 2 days!), but she was born on Mark's Grandmother's birthday.  And Abby was born on my Gram's birthday.  The same doctor who delivered Abby was on call and delivered Alyssa.  I couldn't script it any better, really.

Our Family of FOUR

Okay, that wasn't so hard.  Sure, there are probably more details I could share---like how this time around, I actually got a decent night's sleep and even a shower before we left for the hospital.  Or how we sat in the registration area waiting for a room to become available and Abby got antsy.  Of course, the minute she and my Mom went for a walk, the nurses called me back.  I waddled as quickly as I could (which wasn't all that quick!) trying to find them.  

The immensity of that moment came at me with a force; it was the last moment I'd have with her as my only kiddo, our family on the verge of going from 3 to 4.  I wish I could say that I had something profound to whisper into her ear as I hugged her, but I'm sure I said something silly like, "Please behave and don't forget to wash your hands before you have a snack."  Always the Mom, right?  Hey, hospitals are germy places. 

I could share all of that, but I won't. I will share, instead, that Alyssa Jane turned 8 months old yesterday and I can break out any number of cliches about how quickly time flew and how she's growing so quickly and all that jazz.  I can.  But I won't. 

She is a blessing beyond measure and the way her sweet face lights up when Abby comes into the room is nothing short of breathtaking.  I was fully prepared for some adjustment issues; what I did not anticipate was Abby insisting that Alyssa join us for everything, everywhere at every moment.  I tried carving out time for the two of us to do something special while Alyssa napped; Abby would turn to me and say, "No thanks, Mama.  I'll sit here and watch her sleep."  And she did. 

Shortly after Alyssa was born, Abby started (gulp) Kindergarten.  Talk about being fully prepared for some adjustment issues.  Wow!  Abby went from school 4 days a week, about 3 hours a day to a full day, full week schedule at a new school with all new kids.  I braced for tears on the first day; neither of us shed any.  I braced myself for troubles with the long day; there were none (although a few times, when someone would ask Abby how Kindergarten was going, she would reply, "It's from 9 to 3.").  Proving to me, and probably to herself, that she was ready for this step, Abby confidently threw herself into her new routine with a smile and energy that makes a Mama proud.

Such expectation....

 

Quiet snoozing on Mama!

I rushed back to work after Abby was born; six weeks.  I still regret that.  I never imagined I would have time to sit and stare at a newborn again.  It's a lot harder to do that when there's another kiddo who is asking for--and deserves--your attention.  But once again, God came through and allowed me those special one on one moments with Alyssa.  Not only did I extend my maternity leave, but I had 5 days a week where Abby was at school (from 9 to 3, remember!?).  I watched Alyssa sleep.  I stared at her chubby fingers and sweet little ears.  I walked laps around the downstairs of my house, holding her to me and inhaling her sweet baby smell.  I sat in our family rocking chair and nursed her in total quiet.  I had those moments.  We took walks in the neighborhood and met friends for lunch.  We shared tummy time and nap time and mealtime and snuggle time. And those moments are treasures.



Since I last blogged, there've been other treasured moments, too.  Mark and I celebrated our 11th wedding anniversary.  I helped execute my 7th Heart Walk (where I met Kris Letang, Pascal Dupuis and Sidney Crosby, just sayin'!).  Mark and I ran The Great Race (2 months post C-section, thank you very much!  Ha!!) again.  We went apple picking and to the pumpkin patch.  We baptized Alyssa at our Church.  Alyssa enjoyed her first road trip to Philly and another to Bucknell to meet Jules.  We had two costumed girlies to Trick or Treat with.  We had our first Thanksgiving and Christmas as a family of four.  Mark and I both had birthdays and the girls had their half birthdays (yes, I'm crazy enough to make those big deals too!).  There have been sleepless nights and blowout diapers.  There have been parent/teacher conferences and enough artwork to cover 10,000 refrigerators.  There have been spontaneous smiles as I hear myself clarify which daughter I'm talking about--the smile of realization that I have two!  There have been challenges and blessings and a whole lot of togetherness for them all.

Memories in the Making

Joyfulness...Full Hearts

Even as I write this--and it's taken me entirely too long to hit PUBLISH--I'm reminded of a great story I heard recently about taking imperfect action.  The idea of not waiting until things are perfect (what is that?) or trying to force an idea into reality has stuck with me.  And so tonight, I hit the PUBLISH button and then SHARE and then POST. 

Then I take a step back--picture the Chefs on an episode of Chopped stepping away from their plates, hands up in surrender as the clock hits double zeros.  Perhaps there are thoughts unexpressed or concepts not fully explored.  Who said I had to get it all out in one post?  I did.  And that's just plain silly. 

So back I will be with more stories.  More changes to this blog.  More whatever.  Because that's what this is---it's whatever the mood calls for it to be in the moment.  You know, kind of like life.  Huh.  Funny how that works.

Cheers to you and thanks for stopping by!